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Arthur "Artie" Nielsen ([personal profile] doyousmellfudge_archive) wrote2010-06-12 11:06 pm
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Implosion, part 4

Room 215
Hilton Washington
Washington, D.C.

"Next time, don't get a suite. Just a room." Artie makes a beeline for the desk in the middle of the hotel room. "Okay. The lead here is the implosion grenade. We find out who had one of those, we find out who has the sword. Okay, let me just..." He wrestles the massive D.C.-area phone book out of the too-small desk drawer and sets it heavily on the desktop.

"Is there a listing for implosion grenades?" remarks Pete offhandedly.

"Those were the days." Artie thumbs through to the commercial listings. A... B... C...

"Artie, we've got wi-fi."

"Nonono, I like paper. Actually, I hate paper, but it's a security issue?"

"Okay, okay, Artie, enough," says Myka sharply. "You have to fill us in, okay? If the competition used implosion grenades to steal the sword, then what the hell does this sword do?"

"Yeah, I mean, it must be pretty major, right?" adds Pete. "You don't drop a nuclear bomb to steal a butter knife."


Artie closes the phone book. "Okay. You wanna know about the sword? I'll tell you about the sword. The Honjo Masamune is much, much more than a dull knife." He hefts his black bag and pulls out the scrolls and photographs he grabbed on his way out of the office, spreading them out on the desktop. "It kept the ruling shogunate in power for hundreds of years by making them invincible in battle. Now, the beauty is the way these things were forged. I mean, they ritually hammered and folded the blade, millions of layers of steel with a carbon content that's right off the charts, and each layer only atoms--atoms thick. I mean, this sword is said to be perfectly aligned."

Myka is nonplussed. "So... what does it do?"

"Yeah. Um..." How to explain this? "Well, okay, you know how geese fly in a 'V' formation, and the, the wind hits the first bird and it splits and it keeps on splitting wider and wider with each successive bird? Because it makes it easier for the birds to fly that way."

"Good." Myka's tone and expression suggest she's reaching the end of her patience. "So, so what does the sword do??"

"The blade in this particular sword is said to be so perfect that light splits in its path, and goes around the person holding it."

Myka frowns. "Um... are we talking about, um, invisibility?"

"Well, kind of. Well, in effect. The person's still there, although, y'know, the light that we see doesn't hit--yes, invisibility."

Pete grins like a 10-year-old boy on Christmas morning. "Awesome. I knew, I knew that was possible! I knew it!"

Myka is much less sanguine. "Okayyy, invisible swords now," she mutters as she leans over the documents on the table. "Hey, Artie? These, these are the same sword, right?"

"Yeah." Artie doesn't look up; he's busy leafing through the phone book again.

"They don't match."

That makes him look up. "What?"

"Well, y'see, the disc thing that's attached to the grip?" Myka points. "Well, it's in the painting, but it's not in the sword from the dig site."

...he'll be damned. How did Artie miss that? "It's missing its tsuba," Artie murmurs. "This piece, right here, is called the tsuba. It's actually a collectible in its own right, y'know, separate from the sword, but this is missing its tsuba... and the sword might not even work."

"And if it doesn't," adds Pete, "the guy's gonna come looking for it."

"We are in the race." Artie is suddenly manic. "We're in the race. You two have to find what happened to that tsuba and fast." He flips pages even faster.

Pete lets out a huff of disbelieving laughter. "Artie, we're lookin' for a 500-year-old sword--"

"800. Exactly. So it should be easy. You guys follow the tsuba, I will follow--ahhhhh." His eyes come to rest on the listing he was looking for: Kluger Electronics Ltd. "The implosion grenade... and one of us will find the thief." He rips the page with the listing out of the phone book, grabs his bag, and all but sprints for the door.

"But--wait, what--?" Myka sputters. "I don't--w-where are you going?"

"Somebody is making new grenades. Somebody who promised not to." And he's out the door. No time to waste. He can explain the whole story to Pete and Myka later. Probably.

[Dialogue from Warehouse 13 episode 1x08, "Implosion."]